Everybody's...not for everybody

Unfortunately this is not the most positive of posts after such long time of neglecting Fraeulein Soulfood's online presence... However as you will find out (if you manage to read to the end), I made a promise to Everybody's, the restaurant that this post is...shall we say...dedicated (?) to, and I strive to keep this promise. In hindsight it is also quite an entertaining series of unfortunate events. Enjoy... 

In a nutshell: Don't go if you value a positive dining experience. Terrible service + below average food = money not well spent.

The story: The day we “experienced” Everybody's was Valentine's Day, despite my dining partner and myself not being a couple. However, we were looking forward to finally checking out what all the hype was about and were hoping to have a pleasant evening in any case. Man, were we disappointed... 

As we entered the restaurant, we already didn't feel welcomed, as there is no obvious reception area and the couple of waiters rushing around failed to greet us, let alone ask if we had a reservation. Finally we approached one of them, who turned out to be the French waiter. I wish we hadn't. Our online booking for “a nice table for Valentine's Day” had been confirmed for 7:30pm, however when we told Mr. French he bluntly informed us that the table was not yet ready. We didn't really understand this, as not only were we punctual, but furthermore we could see three of the booths, that we expected to be sitting in were empty. We were told to have a drink at the bar (not on the house, despite their running late), which we didn't really want as we had just come from pre-dinner drinks, and were by this stage genuinely hungry. Before we took to the bar my partner politely asked Mr. French approximately how long it would be, to which he slyly replied “The nicer you are to me, the quicker it will be”. Really, this should have been our clue to leave. But we had been looking forward to the evening so we did as we were told and sat at the bar. 

In the ten or so minutes that we were sitting there, nobody ended up asking for our drink order, so when Mr. French returned to bring us to our table we were happy to move. Until we saw the table. We had been waiting not to be seated in one of the three comfortable (still empty!) booths, but were instead crammed onto a table where I sat less than a meter from the open-kitchen, till and waitstaff through-fare in other words, in the way, and my partner had to squeeze into the table so the waitress could still get between our table and the next. In any case, we did not feel comfortable. As we knew we were paying good money for this evening and since we had requested a nice table we asked one of the waitresses who the booths were for. We were informed these had been specifically requested by Valentine's couples. We told her we weren't aware one had to request these, but just because we were not a couple, we would still appreciate a nice table. After to-ing and fro-ing she finally agreed to move us. After we were settled (again...), Mr. French stopped by our table, we assumed to FINALLY take our drinks order. Instead, he leant his lanky frame across our table and sneered whether we “would be the most difficult customers of the night”. Now I'm not one to not appreciate a sense of humour (even if it's French...) but to me that is just plain rudeness. Having worked as a waitress myself for years, if I spoke to a paying customer in such a manner, I would not expect to have my job the next day. We retaliated with “Only because you have been the most difficult waiter”, and asked if we could order our drinks, please. We had to repeat the order and show him on the menu as he obviously didn't know the wine list as well as he thought. 

We decided upon our meals quickly, however again had to ASK to order these. We chose the 'Big eye tuna' and 'Twice baked gorgonzola souffle' both arrived RELATIVELY swiftly, but were nothing special. The souffle was collapsed, the tuna flavours clashed. As our mains we both ordered the gnocchi for $30 a plate. After an hour of having had our entrees we asked Mr. French how far away the gnocchi were (yes, we dared!), his response “two minutes!”. I noticed the table next to us had already asked for their mains also. Naturally it was closer to another ten...and when he plonked the two plates before us we couldn't believe our eyes. I genuinely thought they had misunderstood and thought we wanted to share the gnocchi and had therefore split the portion it was so tiny! Furthermore when we came to taste food we had waited until 10pm for, we realised the gnocchi were completely over-salted, so in a sense we were glad there were only six little gnocchi to be eaten. We took photos of the portion size which suddenly got Mr. French's alarm bells ringing and for the first time the entire evening we were asked if “everything was okay”. By this stage we were so over it we told him no it wasn't, but that it no longer mattered, we just wanted fill our stomach with something and leave. After this female waitress came over and asked if we wished to exchange the meal, but since we didn't feel like waiting another half hour and were positively ravenous we kindly declined, to which she suggested she take the gnocchi off the bill. Something I suppose...  

The $30.00 portion of gnocchi (in comparison to my tiny hands!)

We still ended up paying $83.00 for an evening where we were made to feel like like a complete inconvenience from the time we entered to the time we left. So, it would seem that despite the name, Everybody's really isn't for everybody...And I will make sure NOBODY I know will have their night ruined by them. 

I kindly forwarded a copy of my review to the restaurant, suggesting they have a word to their staff (Mr. French in particular), and you will probably not be surprised to learn, that nothing was heard in return. The end.

Hope you have had some FAR more pleasant dining experiences of late?! The following day, we had the most delightful lunch which definitely made up for this disaster, and I hope to blog about tomorrow!

Sweet dreams,
Fräulein SoulFood x